Jimmy and the Pie Factory

I took my trusty camera along to Hollands on Friday for the final of the “Pie Factor” unfortunately however photography was not permitted inside the big kitchen. I was also made to sign a very official looking document agreeing not to reveal any of the secrets that might be revealed during the factory tour. I can tell you however, that once inside the palace of pies we were punted across a huge lake of Onion gravy by three dwarven gondoliers in a huge Silver aluminium pie tray to a wondrous land on the other side. There we were greeted by a lovely lady called Debra who gave us the grand tour, her enthusiasm and pride in her work were obvious and the scale of the operation in beautiful, downtown Baxenden was really impressive. The factory tour was followed by a short lecture on the history of Hollands which threw up some interesting facts. Apparently Hollands sell approximately one million pies every week and supply around 70% of the chippies in the North West with their pies. It was also revealed that the prize for being selected as a panel member is a massive 365 pies a year!
Then it was on with the real meat of the matter. When I started this quest for Chip Shop perfection, I never imagined that it would lead me to being blindfolded by a strange man who would then proceed to feed me sweetmeats! But that was the first task I was confronted with in my efforts to gain a place on Holland’s Pie Panel. Other tests included recognition of Hollands Products (I think I did alright there), recognising different types of meat and pastry, a test of my descriptive powers and my ideas for new products for Hollands. After reading the opening paragraph of this post I’ve just thought of another one...Chicken and Magic Mushroom. The tests were conducted totally seriously and anyone who does end up on the Panel will have really earned their place.
Then it was through to the little house next door to the factory for a bite to eat (yes I did have a pie) and a quick chat with some of the top brass including Triple H (Holland’s Head Honcho).
They seemed quite happily surprised by the amount of media attention they’d garnered but as I told HHH there’s a lot of affection for Hollands in this part of the world. Anyway it was a really interesting and enjoyable day and the folks at Hollands are to be praised for the way they look after their punters. It was a textbook lesson in how to sustain a brand’s popularity and relevance among its most ardent customers. Anyway did I get in? I don’t know, they’re going to let all the prospective Panel members know on Monday 27th October. Fingers crossed.